Archive for the ‘Annoying’ Category

Surprise?

February 2, 2010

So the client drama that I told you about last week took an interesting twist today…

Earlier this morning hubby had a talk with the client’s (we’ll call her “G”) business partner/investor (let’s call him “V”).  Basically the hubs let him know what needed to be done to resolve the issues once and for all.  They just need to send us more text and more images and their site will look better.  V agreed.  We also reassured him that the bilingual capabilities of the site would be up and running by next week.  In fact we are updating all of our sites with the latest version of our software which runs a million times faster and is much more user-friendly (I hate that word, it is so over-used).  The bilingual functions are part of that upgrade.  Hubs also told them that they could pay off the rest of their balance over time.  It was all good.  V assured him that he would keep G under control and keep her from going off on us again.

Literally a few minutes later G called us to personally apologize for her behavior.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard a client apologize to us before, that was a huge surprise.

Then about six hours later we get forwarded email exchange between G and our business partner in the US (he usually handles all client relations but since this client is over here we had been more involved).  Her email started out as a request for an additional email server but then totally U-turned into this:

“Anyway your multi language not ready, We wanted to add Flash on web and Q already knows this but now he is telling me that need some one to do it,I mean we have to pay someone for design flash any way, We have pay to you 250USd for beginig I mean before starting web site and I told you that balance will be clear after web fnished.  Everything takes too long  time with you and be frankly I do not want to continue with your company. I kindly request you to refund of our payment.

Awaitig for your urgent response
Kind Regards”

What.  The.  Fuck.

He had already responded and agreed to refund her money, a fact that also took us by surprise.  As a company we had never really addressed whether or not we would give refunds, and even though it’s not a huge amount of money, it would be coming straight out of our pockets.  I wish he had talked to us before he responded to her, but I know he did it because he was frankly tired of dealing with her bullshit and would rather be rid of her.  He also wants to protect us from abusive clients.  I can’t say that we disagree, it just came as a total surprise.  We did not see this coming.  He had already taken down her website by the time I got his email.

I just finished drawing up a contract termination agreement.  They get their refund as long as they agree not to use any of the material we created for them.  For us it means a lot of hours down the drain, but for her it means she’s basically taken her business back to square one.  She don’t even have a logo now.

Le sigh…

Oh well.  Sometimes you just can help crazy people.

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I do not run a charity.

January 26, 2010

Client drama had reared its ugly head this last week.  *facepalm*

How the hell does it happen?  They go from good client to bad client like warewholves under a full moon.  ARRROOWHHH!

First I should probably tell you a little more about what we do for our clients.  To say that we design websites would be an over-simplification, that’s what we used to do.  A year and a half ago when we started our business, we would both scower craigslist looking for any ole programming or design job that we knew we could do.  We got various clients doing this, but usually (okay, MOSTLY) with these gigs, people were always trying to get something for nothing.  Putting up a website that both looks good and works well takes hours and hours and hours of work.  We would put in these hours/days/weeks/…months of work, and then have to literally chase down payment from them, or they wanted so many changes that took so many more hours that end the end the payment wasn’t worth all the effort.  At a certain point we came to the conclusion that there had to be a way for us to get something for nothing as well.  Everybody else was doing it, why not us?  What I mean is, a way to make fully-fledged websites without all the hours of work.  There are three basic purposes for most websites:  publishing, selling, or social networking.  So if we could design a framework that could perform each of these functions by simply installing it onto a web address so hours of programming the same thing, over and over, would be eliminated.  Better yet, we would make our program easy enough to use so that when clients wanted changes they could just go make them on their own.

If you’re having a hard time understanding what I’m talking about, don’t worry, I didn’t know crap about any of this until about a year ago.  If you want an example of what I’m talking about, look at WordPress.  WordPress is the perfect example of a content management system (CMS) used for publishing.  It’s complicated, it’s got a lot of buttons, but most people are able to figure it out on their own and create their own websites.  We’re like WordPress, except we’re geared towards businesses and we have a lot more applications and functions.

So anyways, we’re still in the development/start-up phase of our business so we haven’t had a public release of our software yet.  Hopefully that will happen sometime in 2010.  Until then we are always trying to get new clients both in the US and Turkey.  One new client we have here is chick my age, who is starting up a mining export company with a few business partners.  Basically they ship stuff like chrome ore to China, pretty simple.  She’s a cool chick, speaks English well and I’d say she was a friend before she was a client.  Because of this we gave her a deep discount, and I mean DEEP.  We normally charge $2,000 dollars for a basic CMS website, but that includes a lot- custom web design, content writing, logo design, stock photos, hosting, etc, etc.  Because we are still developing a bilingual application for our websites (that button you click at the bottom or top of the page and it switches the language of the website, not easy to do) and her website would be the first to test it we gave her a huge deal.  We’re only charging her $500 dollars of which she has only paid half ($250).  Her website is very simple and very small, but like I said, she is also a start-up so she only gave us a tiny amount of content and a few pictures.  One thing we cannot do is invent fancy or interesting content for you…well, technically I have, but only for clients who are paying real money.

From the start she LOOOOVED the website, and I got tons of glowing feedback from her along the way.  When I finally finished putting in all the data and images she sent us (which by the way she sent on Dec 28 and her site was up by Jan 5) she still loved it.  Then, it turned….

She had a “friend” of hers look at the site and they told her it was too plain.  What the fuck does this “friend” know about web design anyway?  Suddenly she hates everything about the site.  She sent us links to other websites (one that sells cell phones, the other a music website) and tells that she wants her site to be more like them.  Here is what her site would actually look like if she would send us more content.  She also says she wants flash.  No other description, just, “I want flash.”  Flash what?  Dancing rocks?  You sell fucking ROCKS, fyi.

Flash is web animation, if you’re not familiar, and it is EXPENSIVE and time-consuming to develop.  For that reason, flash is one of the only things we don’t offer.  If a client really wants flash on their website then we hire an outside flash developer and money has to be paid from the client directly to person creating the flash animation.  In other words, Flash=Money.

Then she also starts bitching that it took three months to put her site up.  Uhh, your emails say differently lady, we only got your content a week before your site went up.  You had “Coming Soon” page on your website for three months because it took you that long to get off your ass.  We don’t put up blank websites.  Did I mention she’s only paid $250 dollars?  That’s what I usually charge just for a logo design (and yes, I designed her logo AND a business card on top of that).

Friend or not, we just don’t have time to deal with this crap anymore, we have too many clients that have paid full price and we have plenty of work still to do for them.  We gave her two options, 1) Stop bitching, or 2) Pay in full by the end of the month.  If you don’t do either we will take down your site.  Period.

Luckily (for her) she came to her senses.  She chose option #1.  Maybe it was just her time of the month?  The full moon has passed and she’s no longer werewolf-cunt, I mean, client.  We’ll just have to see what happens on the next full moon…

If you want to see a hilarious representation of how web designing can go straight to hell, check out this comic by The Oatmeal.  It is sooo true.

LolFetus

December 29, 2009

This idea comes straight from GingerMandy’s post about her annoying pregnant relatives.  Even I’m not immune to how annoying constant prego-chatter can be.  I have a lot of pregnant/new mom friends, which is awesome, but sometimes it’s a topic discussed into the ground over on Facebook pages.  Also known as TMI, and mommies can be some the worst offenders–no, I do not want to know what your baby’s poop smelled like!

So GingerMandy and her friend have invented LolFetus, just like Lolcats, only with fetuses.  Brilliant.  I had to Lol my fetus asap.

Don’t make bebeh angry…

I don’t think this is part of a balanced breakfast…

December 11, 2009

So I go into the kitchen for my cornflakes night-cap.  Let me preface this by saying that I am a cereal fiend.  Even as I’m pouring out the cereal, I’m making sure that I’m leaving enough for a bowl in the morning.  Yes, I’m even carefully planning out my next bowl of cereal.  I also make a mental note of how much milk is left.  Everything is still all good for the morning.

I go to complete my perfect bowl of cereal, the one I’ve been craving and imaging eating for the past hour, and reach for the bag of sugar to sprinkle (generously) on top.  Then the worst thing imaginable happens.

A roach falls out of the bag of sugar and lands in the middle of my cereal.

In my mind I’m still thinking I can save this (I must have gone temporarily crazy) and I nudge at the roach to try to encourage him to run over to the edge and make a quick exit.  He’s slightly smaller than a cornflake.  Of course in my mind I’m just rationalizing that if I can get him off as quickly as possible I can just scoop off the flakes that he stepped on and I can still eat this.  Wrong.

I grab a pair of wooden tongs and try to grab him, but that’s also ridiculous.  I end up hacking away at the bowl with the tongs as he rapidly disappears into the cereal.  Now there is a roach hiding in my fucking cereal.  My cursing and hacking even woke up hubby who was asleep down the hall.

Now I have no idea what to do with this goddamned bowl of bug cereal.  It’s still sitting on the counter where I left it.  We don’t have a garbage disposal and the trash is full.  Perhaps I’ll flush it down the toilet.

I have never lost a craving so quickly.

Rescheduled again!

October 27, 2009

After having a really weird dream about having to postpone seeing the doctor, they called today to postpone!  See, I was scheduled for Oct 29th which turns out is also Turkey’s independence day, which they forgot about, but then remembered they would be closed.  Argh!  I don’t really need to see the doctor, I’m fine, but I’m just getting so antsy because it’s been so long, I want to see my freaking sonogram!  The last time I saw Gummy Bear it didn’t even have fingers yet, now it’s got everything, and I’m dying to see.

The only upside is the longer we wait, the more likely they will be able to determine the sex.

Now I’m scheduled for Monday and it can’t come soon enough.

PS, the heart burn started tonight.  Laaame.

Demotivated

September 21, 2009

I don’t know what is wrong with me lately.  I feel like I’ve hit an all time low in my motivation levels.  It’s driving me crazy but drumming up the motivation to do anything about it is well, hard.

I don’t want to get out of bed

I don’t want to shower

I don’t want to blog

I don’t want work (<-that one is really bad)

I don’t want to read

I don’t want to write

I don’t want to cook

I don’t want to clean

This is just the short list, and mind you these are the things that I normally enjoy doing.  I don’t want to say I’m depressed because I am generally in a good mood all the time, I just feel suddenly chronically lazy.  I don’t want to blame the pregnancy either because the worst of the fatigue that I had a month ago is finally going away so I actually do have energy these days…I just don’t have any motivation to use it.  It felt like I was getting more done a month ago even though I was tired all the time.  The high I usually get from accomplishing things just isn’t there anymore, and it’s got me feeling bewildered and lost.

I feel especially guilty about not wanting to work because my husband has been working his ass of lately, clocks 18 hour days on a daily basis in front of his computer and never takes a day off.  That should be motivation right there to work harder, but I have a hard time even logging 12 hours each week.  I seriously need to be shaken out of this funk.

We are taking a little vacation this weekend to Cyprus, and I’m hoping the change of scenery will help to improve this unproductive state I’ve been in for the past few weeks.  Something needs to change and fast, or else it’s going to start affecting our business.

*sigh*  Here’s hoping things will get better soon.

Kanye Sucks Harder

September 15, 2009

If you thought what Kanye said onstage at the VMAs made him look bad, just wait ’til you hear what he said backstage as they were throwing him out!  I found this hilarious video this morning.

“Y’all find Britney!  Get Britney!!”

LOL!  I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.  You win King Douche, Kanye.  You win.

**Edit- Well…darn.  As Birdpress so rightly points out below, this video is not from the 2009 VMAs, and is actually copyrighted from 2007.  But is is clearly from some other MTV event/award show, and he’s showing off his odvious talent at douchery.  Douchery is not some god-given talent, people.  You have to practice at it, study it.  Kanye has been working long and hard at perfecting his “art”.

Suck it Kanye!

September 14, 2009

Wow, you are truly and asshole Kanye West.  A-S-S-H-O-L-E.

I woke up this morning, got onto facebook as it is my addiction, and immediately started noticing all the negative feedback about Kanye on people’s status updates.  I didn’t know what the hell had happened because I live in a foreign country, don’t have a TV and am pretty out of the entertainment loop.  Well a few clicks on youtube solved my curiosity.

**Edit note- I had a video posted here, and then another one, but Viacom (and/or Kanye’s reps) has been removing every video soon after it is posted.  If you haven’t seen the incident in question, please google or youtube search it.  You almost have to see it to believe it.**

That was some bullshit!  Poor Taylor Swift, did you see how hurt she looked?  First of all, she looked genuinely shocked that she won, I mean, she was up against some really strong videos.  She gets up on stage and is being really sweet and gracious, really genuinely humble about winning her very first VMA, and Kanye thinks he has the right to yank the mic away from her and shit all over her moment?  Fuck you Kanye.  That was wrong, really wrong.  Even Beyonce looked embarrassed.  Do you think he would have tried that shit if Pink or Lady Gaga was standing up there?  No, they would have put their stiletto heel right though his ass.  It pisses me off that he thinks just because she’s a white (yes, I’m going to play the race card here, I think he was being racist), naive, high school-aged country singer, that she didn’t deserve that award.  I’ll say it again, pure bullshit.  This isn’t even the first time he’s pulled this kind of crap!  Do you remember the American Music Awards a few years back?  The dumbass bumrushed the stage when he didn’t win best new artist, but this was so much worse.  Beyonce has a room full of VMA awards, she doesn’t need your lame ass sticking up for her.  Besides she walked away with three Moonmen that night for the same video!  Let Taylor Swift have her damn award!

Do I think she had the best video out of all of them?  Not really, but that’s how the fans voted, and she absolutely deserved to have her moment on that stage.  Even if he apologizes publicly, that moment can never be given back to her, and I really feel sorry for her.  Thankfully, the ever classy Beyonce did the best she could by inviting Swift onstage during her own acceptance speech for winning Video of the Year (for the same video Kanye was bitching about, VIDEO OF THE YEAR! So what if she didn’t win best female video, they both came out winners) so that Taylor could deliver her acceptance speech uninterrupted. GO BEYONCE!

Kanye, you could learn a lot about class and respect from artists like Beyonce and Taylor.  I think the two women handled it beautifully, while your drunk ass and bad haircut got thrown out of the auditorium by MTV producers.


Password Protect Your Ass

July 15, 2009

I wouldn’t call this an official “rant” because I’m not really angry about this, more like mildly annoyed.  I’m finding a lot of my blog friends posting password protected posts.  The first few times, I was intrigued, but now I just find it annoying.  I went to your page to read your BLOG, not go look up your email address, and then ask to be let into your secret club.  I don’t have time.  On the few occasions that I did ask for someones password, by the time I got it, I had lost the motivation to complete the transaction.

Now…I understand, you want to protect your ass.  You don’t want the prying eyes of your boss, wife/husband, child or neighbor peaking in on all the dirt you’re spilling on them.  I dig.  I’ve been burned before myself.  Back when I was 18 I went out on a date with this nice guy, but then dished on my blog the next day about how horrible he kissed and how creepy it was, and he totally found it.  It was horrible.  I felt like a douche bag, and I’m sure he felt worse.

But, if you can count the number of people on two hands that you actually want to read your post, why not send it in a email?  Or there’s this thing that you write in, you remember that thing with the blank pages and the little heart shaped lock?  What’s it called again?  Oh yeah, a diary.  They’re great for keeping secrets.

Blogs are blogs, not diaries.  They’re public, especially these WordPress ones.  Does it make me nervous that my family could Google “Jen512” and find this?  A little, but I don’t talk shit about them (except my step-sister, and she’s too cracked-out to use the internet), I just cuss a lot.  I don’t talk shit because I learned a long time ago that blogs are not the place for that.  All those other thing you don’t want people reading about…just don’t write it.  There’s lots about my life that I don’t talk about here, and wont.  I keep my secrets, well you know, secret.

I won’t stop reading your blog, don’t get me wrong.  I want to read every secret you have, I’m just no willing to work for it.

[This concludes my un-official rant…thanks, I feel better now.]