I don’t think this is part of a balanced breakfast…

So I go into the kitchen for my cornflakes night-cap.  Let me preface this by saying that I am a cereal fiend.  Even as I’m pouring out the cereal, I’m making sure that I’m leaving enough for a bowl in the morning.  Yes, I’m even carefully planning out my next bowl of cereal.  I also make a mental note of how much milk is left.  Everything is still all good for the morning.

I go to complete my perfect bowl of cereal, the one I’ve been craving and imaging eating for the past hour, and reach for the bag of sugar to sprinkle (generously) on top.  Then the worst thing imaginable happens.

A roach falls out of the bag of sugar and lands in the middle of my cereal.

In my mind I’m still thinking I can save this (I must have gone temporarily crazy) and I nudge at the roach to try to encourage him to run over to the edge and make a quick exit.  He’s slightly smaller than a cornflake.  Of course in my mind I’m just rationalizing that if I can get him off as quickly as possible I can just scoop off the flakes that he stepped on and I can still eat this.  Wrong.

I grab a pair of wooden tongs and try to grab him, but that’s also ridiculous.  I end up hacking away at the bowl with the tongs as he rapidly disappears into the cereal.  Now there is a roach hiding in my fucking cereal.  My cursing and hacking even woke up hubby who was asleep down the hall.

Now I have no idea what to do with this goddamned bowl of bug cereal.  It’s still sitting on the counter where I left it.  We don’t have a garbage disposal and the trash is full.  Perhaps I’ll flush it down the toilet.

I have never lost a craving so quickly.

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6 Responses to “I don’t think this is part of a balanced breakfast…”

  1. Siegfried Says:

    Who would’ve thought I’d be reading a post about a cereal addict’s moment of misfortune while I ate my bowl of honey bunches of oats? Not me! lol Hope you never have to go through that again! 🙂

    Haha, hope I didn’t ruin your snack! I’ve learned to be much more more cautious.

  2. Amanda Blog and Kiss Says:

    hahahaha omg that really made me laugh out loud! that’s sooo funny. sounds exactly like something I would do.

    “Shall I? I can just….naaaaah.”

    Yeah, wishful thinking failed me on this one! Damn.

  3. kilax Says:

    We’ve had bugs in our cereal and flour before too. Yuck! They just grow in there or something. I am not sure about the cockroach though!

    I was so annoyed! I’m not usually that grossed out by bugs. The roaches here are so tiny compared to the giant-sized ones we have in Texas that I usually just ignore them. This one wanted some attention. Now I know to check the sugar next time!

  4. morethananelectrician Says:

    That is a better time to discover your intruder than when on the end of the spoon or, even worse, as it becomes a victim of your molars. Just remember to eat cereal with the lights on from now on…

    Funny, I was just thinking the same thing a little while ago. He was the same size and color of a cornflake, he almost blended in. I’m lucky that I saw the little bastard.

  5. thegirlfromtheghetto Says:

    I love cereal myself, we go through a ton of it in this house. Have you ever tried my beloved Reeces Puffs? TO DIE FOR Jen, to die for!

    And, yuck on the damn roach. Not only did he ruin your appetite, but now mine. Agghh!

  6. Mother Ship Says:

    Hi Jen!

    Hey stupid roach don’t try to get between a pregnant woman and her cereal fix!

    Thanks for your note this week – it was really kind. Now you are on my radar and I can follow you along in your last trimester. By the way you look smoking in the masthead photo for 6 months along. (wink) I was a fatty.

    Mother Ship

    Yep, that’s me! (not) Fido fetches the paper for me every morning. He’s such a good boy!

    😉 Thanks for checking out my blog!

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