Update to the Update

So no doctor visit today, rescheduled til next week.

One because the lab results wouldn’t be back until Monday, and two because we lost our freaking debit card!  I got the bank to send one to my mom’s address and then she “overnighted” it with FedEx.  I say “overnight” because even though they call it that AND charge you $108 to send it, it still takes 5 freaking days to get here.  Overnight my ass.

Lame.  Oh well, I guess it could be worse.

I do have a funny story from the lab though!

Okay, so we opted to go to a nice private lab instead of the public hospital–where you have to wait all day and they’re kinda dirty.  Like any other business, it was located on one of the first few floors of an apartment building.  It was spacious and clean, it reminded me a lot of my doctor’s office.  I love how cordial people are here.  Whenever you go to any kind of business or shop, you always get invited to sit in the manager’s office to chat and have some tea.  First I got my blood taken, not as bad as I thought–I was thinking they were going to take a bunch of test tubes-full like they do in the United States, but she only took 6 cc’s, enough to fill a medium syringe.  Okay, I’m thinking hard part’s over, all I have to do now is pee in a cup.  Before I do that, we sat in the head lab guy’s office and drank a cup a tea while he and hubby chatted about things.  When I was done with the tea, I picked up the plastic cup they gave me earlier (complete with red plastic cap) and I walked out to the hall and motioned to the nurse that I was ready.  She points me to the bathroom.  I walked in.  Oh no!

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Oh yes.  Turkish toilet, also known as an alaturka or squat toilet.  I’ve been avoiding these things since I got here, but today it’s now or never.  I stared it down for a few minutes thinking, “Okay, I can do this…I’ve got to do this…” with my second thought being, “I don’t want to accidentally pee on my pants!”  I decided to take my pants off.  Luckily I was wearing loose capris so I managed to get them off without taking my shoes off.  There was no place to hang them so I gingerly put the on the floor in front to me (at least it was clean).  I squat, do my thing, fill the cup.  Just when I’m thinking I’ve successfully pulled this off…I tried to flush.  I turned the knob next to me thinking that the water was just going to come out from under the lip of the toilet…instead, it started gushing out of a metal hose that I had failed to notice before.  I grabbed my pants off the floor just in time to save them!  I stood up, put my pants back on, and then flushed the toilet the correct way–aim hose, THEN turn on water.

I put the cup on the shelf in the bathroom, washed my hands and then got out of there as fast as possible as if I was leaving the scene of a crime.

Hubby was laughing his ass off at me the whole way home.

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4 Responses to “Update to the Update”

  1. kilax Says:

    Wow! So those are the kind of toilets they have in their homes? How interesting!

    I always thought it was funny that the two apartments I lived in in Rome had bidets 😉

  2. birdpress Says:

    How funny! It’s probably more sanitary actually, and since I never sit on the seat of a public toilet, it’s probably easier to squat over that than the toilet too. If only they’d include a place to put your pants it would make sense. I would not want to try it without first removing them either!

  3. morethananelectrician Says:

    So…this can’t be handicapped approved. What if you had bad knees? Would you just lay on top of it? Ew.

  4. Emerald Says:

    Oh, aren’t these a treat? Verona, circa 2002, Amphiteatre – terrible need to pee, and faced with two identical dungeonesque doorways. Run into one, see nothing but a hole in the ground and awfully useless foot rests. Must be the gents, crap! Glad nobody is in sight. Dash out, make for the other door. Identical hole in ground. Dammit!

    I ended up paying to use a regularly shaped toilet for fear of being discovered in such an awkward state, by either gender. Sounds like you figured it out better than me! 😛

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