Weeds 504 – Super Happy Lucky

Welcome to my latest (late) recap.  Enjoy!

Title card clue

I would kill to have one of these!

I would kill to have one of these!

This isn’t much of a clue, more like a lead-in since the show opens with them hiding out in an arcade.  Nancy is gleefully shooting buffalo and bunnies, and bitching at Andy about fucking her sister.  Andy calls it as he sees it, “Jealous!” She denies it, but he points out their hot make out session by the border fence last season.  He tells her to prove she’s not jealous by kissing him.  She tells him to go away.

Silas is watching Shane fail at the claw/stuffed animal machine (I don’t know the name for those, but you know what I’m talking about).  Shane is talking about how he wishes mommy would just fall down a flight of stairs (dark!) but Silas tells him, “This is happening whether we like it or not.” Nancy interrupts them to tell them it’s time to go, and Esteban is going to meet them at the house.  Now the boys will finally get to meet baby daddy.  Nancy warns them to be nice.

At the house, the awkward family meeting commences.  He gives the boys some free campaign t-shirts.

Silas: “So you’re like the mayor of Mexico, or something?”

Esteban: “Or something, yes.”

Shane: “And you stuck your penis in my mother at least once…”

Nancy: “Okay then, goodnight Shane.  Go upstairs.”

They ask what the hell happened to Sucio.  Esteban explains they think he mixed up his medication and wandered off (coughbullshitcough).  She thanks him for giving him a gun and keys to her house.  Makes them feel real safe.  He offers to let them move into his house in California, and even Andy can come.  They decline.  Silas leads a pissed off Shane upstairs, but Silas is nice enough to shake Esteban’s hand and give the usual pleasantries.  I can see in his own way that Silas is trying to be supportive of his mom.

Nancy wants to know where this new-found lovey-ness is coming from.  He tells her that he received test results back that confirm that the baby is his and is a boy.  Hold up, I’ve never been pregnant, but isn’t it pretty much impossible to tell the sex of the baby that early?  Oh well.  He calls in Ignacio, her new baby sitter, also another one of the characters from the tunnel/maternity store.  He comes in with a baby swing, a gift from Esteban.  Andy interjects to say that he could protect Nancy, but Esteban thinks this is hilarious.

j2Andy wants to know what Ignacio has that he doesn’t…and gets tasered.

"I call him Mr. Zappy"

"I call him Mr. Zappy"

Poor Andy…

Nancy: “Oh great.  Now he’s wet himself.”

Ignacio: “Heh, that happens, I get him a towel.”

At school the next day, Shane runs into his pot-smoking English Teacher.  Teacher wants more herb, like 4 grand worth of herb!  Shane is a little shocked.  I’ll translate that into street terms, he’s asking for a pound of weed (or close to it, I can only guess what Shane charges him per ounce, but somewhere between $250-$400 per O).  They can’t get too far into it because the bell rings and Mr. English Teacher has to go teach the Abstinence Only class, and if he’s not there, “The hamsters get raped with pencils.”

At the house Silas comes downstairs looking extra spiffy and business-like in his button down shirt and blazer.  Nancy is trying to assemble the baby swing, and Ignacio is watching Milo and Otis and eating Chinese food.  He’s not nearly as helpful around the house as Sucio was.  Nancy asks Silas if he’s seen Andy, and he tells her Andy’s in the garage working out.


Nancy goes to find him, looking pretty sexy in her cowboy boots, cut offs and see through shirt, might I add.  She asks him if he’s just doing this because he peed himself last night.  He admits to it a little.  We all know he wants to be tough for Nancy.  She reassures him that she’s well protected and doesn’t need him too be tough; he asks her what she need from him…sweet, but before she can answer Ignacio comes to tell her the doorbell is barking.  Uh, Andy, she just asked you to help with the “baby erector set” of a swing.  Ignacio teases Andy and says he looks just like Jamie Lee Curtis in the movie Perfect.  While Nancy and Ignacio walk off laughing, Andy finds what looks like an old bank book inside of a boxing glove (he had mentioned that the exercise stuff used to belong to Judah).

At the door, who else?  Celia.

j5She wants to stay with Nancy, because now that she “escaped heroically” from her captors, she’s homeless.  Nancy tells her she’s pregnant, yes Celia, with a baby, and she needs peace and quiet which Celia is neither.  Celia’s first question, “Is it Andy’s?” results in Nancy having Ignacio throw  her stuff out on the lawn.  Then we see creepy Agent Till, still watching Nancy’s house and fuming over his dead lover.

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

Meanwhile, Silas and Doug are looking at possible pot club locations.  An old Asian lady-landlord shows them what used to be a dry cleaners.  She’s tough.

Landlady:  “You want the fish, buy the fish.  Don’t squeeze the fish!”

Doug:  “I’m not squeezing the fish, I’m sniffing it, and I have every right to sniff the fish if I’m going to buy it…or rent it.”

Silas:  “We’ll take it.”

Not so fast Silas, Landlord isn’t “cool” with a pot club opening up on her property.

Landlady:  “If you sell pot here, feds take away my building.”

Doug:  “Yeah, well you eat dogs.”

Landlady:  “Get the fuck out, you…asswhore.” (LOL, I’m stealing that one.)

At the house, Nancy is still struggling with her baby erector set, and declares, “Mommy needs to get drunk,” before she lays defeated on the floor.

j7Suddenly Ignacio enters, dragging an unconscious Agent Till.  She helps him carry Till into her room.  Ignacio says he caught him peaking into the windows, she wants to know why he would be there to arrest her.  He says no no, he wants to kill you, and show her all the weapons on him, including brass knuckles.  “Today, he is no cop, today, he’s Rambo.” Then he wakes him up just to taser him again, and asks Nancy to help him drag him into the tub because he wants to, “Burn his clothes, drain his blood, and melt his blood with acid.” Nancy tasers Ignacio…“Not in my tub.”

In the kitchen, Andy and Shane discuss whether or not Andy should impersonate Judah to gain access to his old savings account.  Shane tells him to go for it, and his dad’s old passport is in his sock drawer upstairs.  As they talk, Shane is emptying the freezer of Silas’ weed (I’m not sure how Silas is unaware that Shane is stealing from him, but he will be soon) and Andy asks him what he’s doing with all that, “smokable product.” Shane is honest, and Andy isn’t thrilled that his youngest nephew is selling weed, to his teacher of all people.

Andy:  “For the family’s greater good, right?”

Shane:  “For the family that tried to ship my ass to Oakland?  Sure think that.”

Andy is worried that Shane’s sense of right and wrong has gone off-kilter, but Shane isn’t concerned.

Shane:  “What can I say?  I’m a Botwin.  We’re not responsible for what we do.”

He’s turned into quite the angry young man.  Very angry at mommy, young man.

j8Unbeknown to either of them, Mommy has two men tied up in her room.  Till is trying to order her “as a federal agent” to untie him.  She calls him on his bullshit and demands to know what he did to Sucio.  He plays dumb at first, but then admits to it.  He asks her what side she’s on, Ignacio tells him she’s on his side because, “She make baby with the boss.” A fact that she did NOT want Till to know, because if you remember, she had denied knowing who the boss was previously.

j9 Then they hear Celia’s voice from the living room, she let herself in.  Nancy warns them if they make a noise she’ll kill them both.  When she leaves they start kicking each other again until Ignacio notices that Till has a boner and tries to move away from him as far as possible, yelling, “NO NO! I don’t want to fight with you anymore!” Haha, I guess Till has a bondage fetish.

Celia has come to see if Nancy will reconsider letting her stay there.  Nancy reacts by saying nothing, and instead throws lit matches at her.

j10Nancy is going insane, and it’s hilarious.  Celia decides they should talk later, and leaves.

At the bank, Andy discovers that there’s over $186,000 in Judah’s old savings account.  He also finds out that his grandmother (the one they pulled the plug on) had been adding to the account for years.


The bank lady isn’t buying it though.  Turns out she’s an old jilted lover of Judah’s and she has some things she wants to get off her chest.  She tells Andy that Judah has to come talk to her before she’ll release any of the money.  He breaks the news that Judah is dead.

j12She’s devastated.

At school, Shane deposits $4000 worth of weed into Mr. English Teacher’s trunk.


Bad move Shane.  Instead of settling up in the car and driving him home like he said, Mr. English Teacher locks him out of the car and drives off.  Oh Shane, you are fucked.

Back in mommy’s bondage bedroom, Nancy is faced with a dilemma.  If she lets Till go, he’ll kill Ignacio, if she lets Ignacio go he’ll kill Till.  She can’t decide what to do.  She wants to consult the magic 8 ball.  Till tells her to keep pretending she’s so noble because they’re still breathing, she already has blood on her hands.

Back over at grumpy Asian landlady’s place, Silas and Doug are getting the lease after all because the cop “beat up her cat.”  That’s twisted.

Andy is still consoling the lady from the bank (Margaret), but now they’re at the beach.  She reveals that Judah was her first, you know, and then he went away and her life became, “a bucket of shit.” She tells Andy that it was a pretty good idea to try to impersonate Judah to get the money, he sees his chance and talks her into helping him do it anyway.  She agrees, but only if he dates her and they both pretend he’s Judah.  He knows it’s fucking weird, but he goes along with it to get the money.

At the house, we see Esteban coming down the hallway.  Guess she’s made her decision.  He asks her if she’s okay.  She rattles off all the 8 ball answers.  No, she is not okay.

j14Esteban:  “What’s going to happen in there is not right or wrong, it’s not good or bad.  It is.  It’s what happens next.  We chose, you and I.  When we came together we chose, a life, this life.  For you for me for our son.  There is nothing I would not do to protect that life.”

Goodbye Agent Till.

Esteban and Nancy go for a walk on the beach.  He throws her magic 8 ball into the ocean.  He kisses her on the neck and then kneels down to hug and kiss her belly.  She knows what he is really in love with.

At the house we see Andy finish putting together the baby swing.  I guess he did get the message after all.  It’s a bittersweet moment.  The episode ends.

Until next time…


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