Weeds 502 – Machetes Up Top

I downloaded an HD version of this episode so the screen shots are much better now.  It’s good times.  I don’t have HBO or Showtime, I know most of you don’t either.  If you want tips on how to get these shows for free, just ask and I will email them to you.

I want to mention the new show openers that I really love.  Last season, only the first episode used the classic title credits and song “Little Boxes”.  The song was controversial among fans, mainly I think because some found the vocals annoying.  It seems like the producers listened because throughout season two and three the song was covered by famous guest artists, like Elvis Costelo, Death Cab For Cutie, Ozomotli, Regina Spektor, Randy Newman, The Shins, Linkin Park, Michael Franti, Joan Baez and Pete Seeger. I’m so glad Pete Seeger did a guest spot because he sang the most famous version of “Little Boxes” in 1963.

But starting with episode 402 the shows have begun with short animated title cards that relate to something in that episode.  It’s like a little hint.


I know it’s hard to read but the ashtray says Weeds with some Japanese writing underneath.  The beer bottle says created by Jenji Kohan (another reason to support this show, it comes from a female writer) and the last shot are tuna rolls that morph into pot leaves.

This is extra cryptic, usually the hints are more obvious.

On to the show…

Nancy wakes up to find Caesar, the Boss’s right hand man sitting her kitchen.  He’s there to “keep her company”  aka “make sure she doesn’t run away.”  He warns her that the Boss still hasn’t made up his mind about her.

Notice the gun.

Notice the gun.

She also finds the same Jesus bobble head that Guillermo had put in her car with a camera in it when she was running drugs across the border.  This time someone left it on her porch with a note on it.  Scary.  Remember, Guillermo is locked up right now because Nancy snitched.  She purposely took him down.  Now he wants a jail visit…


She tries to brush off Caesar with the “I’ve got a mani-pedi and errands to run” excuse, but it’s going to take more that one try to get rid of him Nance.  Gangsters are like that.

Shane and Andy wake up the same morning at Aunt Jill’s house in Oakland.  She’s annoyed, she microwaves hot pockets for her creepy double-speaking twin daughters (my favorite line from her this episode, “Yum, Yum!” when she puts the hot pockets down in front of them).  And then we briefly meet her robotic bicycle-riding husband.


I can already tell that Jill is kinda crazy.  C’mon, she’s played by Jennifer Jason Leigh, don’t you remember Single White Female?  She’s trying to be a good host though.  She offers them hot pockets too.

Back with Nancy, she’s getting her toes done and Caesar is getting in the way.  The Asian ladies force him into a pedicure chair.


Can’t you just see the idea forming in her head?  The Asians declare that he needs the “fish” for his feet.  They shove his feet in an aquarium with those fish that gently nibble off your dead skin cells.  Nancy sees her chance hops up to get her bikini wax, the only place Caesar won’t follow, besides he’s got 3 Asian ladies holding him down.  She slips out the back door before he catches on.

Next we see Silas and Doug hiking through the forest.  They’re looking for some hidden land to set up their pot garden on.  Looks like they found a spot…but these nice gentlemen found it first.


These dudes hold them captive, threaten to kill them, but once they find all the choice clones in Silas’ bag, they let them go…minus the clones (baby pot plants).  Poor Silas, all his hard work for nothing, but he’s got to learn how to play the game right somehow.

Nancy goes to visit Guillermo.  She tries to play coy but he knows she did it.  She tells him she’s pregnant but he’s not impressed.  He tells her, “You’re the knocked up puta whore rat, she ends up in a landfill…lady parts all chopped out, face all unrecognizable.  You were an interesting person to know Nancy Botwin.”


Nancy is not t0o happy about that.

Down in Mexico, Celia is still staying with Quinn’s ex-boyfriend, Rudolpho.  He’s some sort of militia commando but I’m starting to find it weird and low-budget that Celia and Rudolpho never leave that damn tent.  She feels bad for him because he’s still hung up on Quinn and is a general mess.  He leaves in a huff because he thinks she’s abusive just like Quinn, and he’s probably right.  He tells her to leave but instead she organizes all his guns and weapons because she wants to stay and prove she’s useful.

"Machetes up top."

"Machetes up top."

She’s realized that everyone back home hates her and she begs him to let her stay.

Back at Jill’s, Andy is bonding with Jill over house work and bottles of wine.  They bitch about Nancy and get drunk…which devolves into good old-fashioned revenge sex.  Yep, Andy and Jill get it on.  Bad Andy.  Uh oh, Shane takes pictures of them through the window!



Nancy goes to Dean to update her will, and let him know where she’s hidden money.  She also tells him that if anything happens to her, Silas gets custody of Shane.  She won’t tell him what is up though, only that she trusts him.  Then later on…she’s smoking and drinking in a sushi restaurant.  Shit Nancy…what are you doing?


She shares a shot of whiskey with the sushi chef and reveals to him that she once attempted suicide when she was 10 by jumping off a bridge.  This show is going to a dark, dark place and it’s about to get darker.

She goes to the Boss’ office down in Mexico after her little raw fish/alcohol/cigarettes binge to confront him.  She pulls a gun out of his drawer and tells him to “decide” because she’s tired of being “dead mom walking.”  This pisses him off, and in my opinion he rapes her, and leaves her with these parting words, “You do not dictate the terms of this arrangement, okay?”


Jesus Christ.  Nancy’s drug of choice is danger (and maybe caffeine), and you’d think she’d hit bottom when Peter died or when she burned her house down, but damn.  I’ve gotta say this is a record low.  This episode was depressing, I hope things go slightly better next week…


2 Responses to “Weeds 502 – Machetes Up Top”

  1. Glitterhorse Says:

    The sushi rolls – LOVE IT!!!!!! Nancy better be having a boy or she’s in some serious trouble!

    • Jen512 Says:

      I know…but how cute would it be if she had a girl? Even though Andy is fucking Jill I’m still rooting for Andy and Nancy, they’ve had crazy chemistry from the start.

      Hey, where and why did Conrad disappear after season 3? That’s who I really wanted her to end up with. Do you think he’s coming back?

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