Weeds, it’s better for you and me.

I’ve decided to stop recapping Daisy of Love.  I still watch it, but honestly I’ve totally lost interest.  So,  if you want much better recaps with pictures and everything, go visit Thrill Fiction’s blog.

Instead of focusing on brain numbing reality shows, I’ve decided to focus on a show that’s near and dear to my heart, Weeds.  Anyone else watch?  It’s so good!  The fifth season just started and it doesn’t disappoint.  I can’t decide what I love most about this show…the sharp writing, the endless cliff hangers, the jokes, the acting, or all the issues it tackles.  I’ll come out of my weed closet right now, I fully support medical and recreational use of marijuana.  It’s fine if you disagree, but I have years of personal experience that backs up my belief.  Enough about that, lets talk Weeds!

Brief recap of what’s been going on last season…

Nancy quickly discovers the true purpose of the maternity store front business that Guillermo put her in charge of…it’s got a secret tunnel from Mexico in the back room.

The Mexicans tell her to stay out of the tunnel, but we all know Nancy craves trouble…

She goes in the first chance she gets and gets caught of course.  She discovers that the head of the Mexican drug cartel is the mayor of Tijuana.  He gives her a spanking as punishment (I’m not kidding).  Then they start being friends with massive benefits.

Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, why do you always sleep with the enemy?  Meanwhile, the kids start getting some action themselves, Shane gets his cherry popped by these two little superfreaks-

Silas is 17 but starts hooking up with local cheese shop-owning MILF.  They’re both in way over their heads, and start selling weed a little too openly out of the cheese shop.  She dumps him on his 18th birthday because her ex-husband is trying to take her kid away, and I hope she’s gone for good, she was boring.

Celia, after going through rehab, decides to go find her long lost daughter Quinn to make her amends with in Mexico.  I was excited about this one because Quinn was Silas’ original girlfriend on the show but she was one of many offspring that disappeared from the show after the pilot.  She secretly videotaped her dad Dean cheating on Celia (complete with a tennis racket shoved up his ass) and showed it to her mom.  Celia retaliated by shipping her off to boarding school in Mexico and we haven’t heard from her in five seasons.  Quinn obviously isn’t buying her mom’s apologies and immediately slips her a roofie and conspires with her boyfriend to hold Celia for ransom.

The biggest OMG moment came when Nancy decided she couldn’t take the smuggling of underage sex workers and guns though the tunnel anymore and became and informant for the DEA, probably the craziest thing she’s done yet.  They do a raid and Guillermo gets taken down.  The cartel is out for blood now, and they torture and kill until they get Nancy’s name.  They even get a picture of her meeting with the agent.  Her boss/lover calls her down to Tijuana for a meeting, she’s got a sinking feeling she’s going to die.  At the meeting she denies, but he shows her the picture.  Then she pulls an ace out of her sleeve and shows him a picture of an ultrasound and says “It’s early, but it feels like a boy.”

Holy shit!  And that’s how season four ended…

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Season 5 starts exactly where 4 leaves off.  His henchmen don’t trust her, but the Boss (who’s name is Esteban, btw) is torn between love, betrayal, and a chance at a son.

He decides to believe her for now, and lets her go home…only after his right hand man shoots the other two henchman because they “Gossip like old women.”  Isn’t he charming?  I also have a theory that Nancy might be starting to understand more spanish than she’s letting on.

Meanwhile down at Casa del Quinn, her boyfriend has been making unsuccessful ransom demands from Celia’s cell phone contacts.  Even her family doesn’t care.  This just pisses Quinn off more, and we quickly figure out she abuses him.

Back at the house, Andy wakes Nancy up in the morning to try to convince her to take the family and flee to Denmark, and to confess his love to her.  He also delivers my favorite few lines of the episode- “It’s only a matter of time Nance, you finked and they know it, don’t they?  Now they’re just playing with you, you’re a cat toy, and they’re cats, Mexican cats…gatos.”  She drops the pregnancy bomb on him to make him go away.  It works.  Aw, I love Andy, I’m always rooting for him.

Shane has starting selling weed he steals from Silas at school with the help of his two super-skanks.  He gets caught in the library by his English teacher.

But the teacher (surprise, surprise) instead blackmails Shane into giving him a sack.  Adults are always failing children on this show, it’s a running theme.

Celia’s kidnappers are still going through her cell phone trying to get someone to pay them money.  They even call the DEA agent that she thought was into her but is actually totally gay.  Samjay is in the office being questioned and overhears that Celia’s been kidnapped, he looks concerned, I have a sneaking suspicion that he might end up helping her.  Samjay has a good heart.  Nobody Celia knows is going to pay because everyone hates her.  Quinn decides that she’s going to kill her and sell her organs on the black market.  That bubble bursts when they realize she’s had chemo and radiation and her organs are no good now.  Quinn flies into a rage against her mother and starts kicking her.  Her boyfriend throws Quinn out, he’s done with her bitch ass.

Nancy’s boss makes her go to “his” doctor in Mexico.  She doesn’t know what the hell is going on because no one is talking to her.

She wants to leave, but he says she either stays and submits to the exam or one of his henchmen will “drive” her home.  Needless to say she submits.

Back at the house, Andy tells Silas and Doug that Nancy is pregnant.  Doug is an idiot and tells Shane when he comes home.

The boys confront her, she tells them she’s keeping the baby.  She also tells Shane she’s sending him to his aunt’s for safety, he’s pissed and wants to know why Silas doesn’t have to go too.  Silas and Shane get into a fist fight about it and Nancy throws one of the hot banana bread pans that Andy’s baking to make them stop and only burns the shit out of her hand instead.  Silas and Doug leave to go set up his secret pot garden deep in a national park, and Andy leaves with Shane to take him to aunt Jill’s up in Oakland.  Everyone’s giving Nancy the silent treatment, no hugs and kisses for her.

The episode in typical Weeds fashion ends on a bizarre but beautiful note…watch:

That’s a Micheal Franti song btw, I love him.

Here’s another video of a cool flash mob dance in a London train station:

Next episode’s recap is coming soon, stay tuned!