Daisy of Love Recap #4

Oi, better late than never!  I haven’t been my snarkcastic self lately.  And yes, I will post a recap of #5 tonight’s episode very soon.  Sorry about all the delays, my loyal Daisy of Love readers.

The show starts off like it always does–rise and shine douchebags!  I don’t need to see these dudes putting on guyliner and washing their balls each episode, but thanks anyway VH1.

Haha, Sinister is feeling jealous of Chi Chi’s scrawny ass.  I finally have this show figured out, all these guys are the same except for Chi Chi.  These dudes, and the ones that have already been eliminated, all fall into the same category.  They’re used to girls falling all over their poser wannabe rock asses.  They act like they don’t care and are too cool for any chick that likes them, thus reeling her in further (see London and Fox) which as we can see is already back firing on most of the dudes.  Chi Chi is that other type a guy who’s got no game and tries to smother a girl with creepy affection and compliments.  He’s the type that gets stuck in the “friend” zone ASAP, so I don’t think his chances are any better.

Rock challenge!  Cheap-ass VH1 decides not to pay for any actual rock songs so they have to cover nursery rhymes…and then they’re going to play at the “world famous” Knitting Factory.  Never heard of it.

Six Gauge, London, and Sinister are team captains because they have alleged experience, then the picking of teams leads to more drama, naturally.  These boys are worse than the Real Housewives.  Sinister doesn’t pick Chi Chi and he is SHOCKED.  Really Chi’ch?  You thought he was going to pick you over pussy?  I guess you’ve never had pussy.  Chi Chi must be a virgin.

London picks Cage, because earlier when he was watching him shower in addition to noticing his rock hard abs he also took note of his awesome voice.  All of these guys are gay, I’m completely sure of it.  Nothing wrong with it, just don’t hide it, and don’t go on a dating show to hook up with a tranny…oh wait, I get it…never mind.

Team 1 is Six Gauge, Big Rig and Flex.  No one who benches below 250 allowed!  Team 2 is London, Cage and Chi Chi, aka Team Emo.  Team 3 are the leftovers–Sinister, 12 Pack and Fox.  They have two hours to figure out Old MacDonald, Row Row Row Your Boat, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star…let the over-confidence begin…

Haha, Team Bench Press decides to go nude, I hope they at least do some sort of homage to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but I doubt it.  The brain isn’t a muscle, they don’t know how to use it.  They add some glitter and sharpie tattoos, which is something a four year old would be more into.  They’re up first, and it can’t be over fast enough.  Note to all men, do not put your genitals into a “banana hammock” and shake it towards a woman, she will not be turned on.

London‘s band, aka “Daisy Blades” sucks through Row Your Boat but she still thinks London is dreamy.

Sinister’s band doesn’t suck the most, but for some inane reason she picks “Daisy Blades”.

Winners go on a Gibson Guitar tour bus.  She’s feeling less enamored with London for some reason.  She thinks he drinks too much, duh, and she asks him why he’s homeless, he explains about his dad kicking him out, but then with her attention span of a goldfish she’s bouncing around the bus and leaves him hanging.  She gives them all guitars, wow.  They must have been free from Gibson because we all know how cheap VH1 is with these budgets, I assume they had a nice chicken wing lunch.

She doesn’t give London any alone time and he’s about to go off the deep end.  Meanwhile, Cage opens up to Daisy about his abusive dad and his dead alcoholic mom.  Wah, now he punches people for a living.

London is all “Fuck this and shit” and hitting the bottle on the way back.  He’s such a douche.  He’s yelling at her while playing with the guitar she just gave him.  He went from McDreamy to McDouchy in the span of an hour, niiiice.  He’s pouting and packing his shit, then she calls him into her room and they have a little cryfest.  They make out.  She tells him he kisses the best.  I just threw up in my mouth a little.  Why do I make myself watch this crap?

The next day, she sends her nude team to get a Rock’n’Roll make over, surprise!  They look like rejects from Burning Man now.  Makeover Fail.

To kill some time Daisy takes an opportunity to stir up more drama and plays truth or dare with the rest of the dudes.  Truth–Fox asks Chi Chi who he thinks will go home first, Chi Chi or Sinister?  Wah, he puts himself down and says that he thinks Daisy would chose Sinister over him and they have more in common.  Huh?  If that’s not a play for her sympathy I don’t know what is.  He’s like a little pathetic kitten, not exactly what I think she’s looking for.

Truth–she asks London why his dad kicked him out…oops.  I told you she was a goldfish…he’s annoyed, and most of all embarrassed about being called out in front of everyone on his situation and tells her to peace out.  As douchy as this guy is, I totally see where he’s coming from.  She’s not putting much effort forward on anything besides make out sessions, and her listening skills leaves something to be desired.

Before elimination, Riki tells her to get rid of London.  He basically tells her to stop being retarded.  She doesn’t.  Wow, she goes to London and TELLS him she’s going to give him a chain.  Uh…what?

Elimination time, the makeover guys are back and looking gayer than ever!  Six Gauge looks like he just walked out of a fetish club, and they’re all wearing too much guy-shadow.

She calls up London just as promised but he turns down her chain, and she runs off crying.  Thus we lose another cog from the douche factory.

Bye bye London, you won’t be missed!

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4 Responses to “Daisy of Love Recap #4”

  1. A.Jaye Says:

    The snark is back.

    Just like London (see episode 5)

    Oi!

    • Jen512 Says:

      I’m trying to keep my interest in this show up. I never realized doing these recaps would cause me brain damage. How do you keep it up?

      • A.Jaye Says:

        My brain got damaged in the 70s watching Charlie’s Angels and Starksy and Hutch. I’ve had TV immunity ever since.

  2. karmacat Says:

    LOL at “rejects from Burning Man.” I hate myself for being drawn into this show. Maybe I like knowing that there are even worse losers than the ones I have dated.

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