Daisy of Love #3

The guys are having wet dreams about Daisy.

Flex and 12 Pack are scheming about getting Brooklyn out of the house. The guys are all pissed that Weasel went home cuz he was the “fun guy” and Brooklyn is Mr. Unpopular now.

Challenge time!

Which douchebag can best protect this delicate flower?

3 teams of 4 have to get a Daisydummy through and obstacle course while being shot at by a team of pro paintballers who look like Storm Troopers.  May the welts be with you.

Brooklyn gets picked last for paintball. I hope it brought back some school yard memories.

Cage almost blacks out, but makes it through…screaming like a baby. The Daisydummy splits in half! Brooklyn scoops up the body parts, takes off for his part, and passes it off to 6 Gauge. Then Cable Guy gets it, and falls, HARD. Not only does he land on the Daisydummy but one of her arms flies off! I’m having flashbacks to Rock of Love’s Stroller Derby. He’s now a non-moving target and gets annihilated by paintballs. They have more Daisy parts than teammates.

Fox uses the Daisydummy as a sheild!! That’s BS and she calls him out for it.  This team sucks just as much as the last one.

Sinister is determined to take the pain and make sure she doesn’t fall to pieces. Chi Chi does okay, but London breaks her in half. 12 Pack takes it over the finish line in 2 pieces. They didn’t break her as much, so they win. Sinister wins VIP time.

Brooklyn knows the guys are going to make him into an ass-puppet tonight, so he speaks up. He admits that he’s still in love with this ex girlfriend and wants to quit. Now they all really want to kill him. Riki is livid, he calls him a straight up liar, because he swore to her last night that he was there for her. Haha, she calls him a “Losebag,” kicks a rock at him and then says, “check your mail when you get home, I’m sending you a douche bag.”  They leave him at the paintball range.

Commercial break, which brings a commercial for Charm School 2. I can’t wait, and Ricki Lake looks amazing. I remember in the 5th grade I did a skit for D.A.R.E. with some other kids where we pretended we were on the Ricki Lake show. The teachers were all kind of horrified all these 10 year olds knew the show so well. “Ricki! Ricki! Ricki! Ricki!…” Remember?

Okay we’re back. The guys are primping and preening for their dates. There’s lots of hair gel, body spray, and…makeup. Fox gels up his do, and even applies mascara to his facial hair…bleh. Sinister and Daisy are supposed to be on VIP time but she goes to the potty and gets distracted by the rest of the guys. She just forgets about him. What a bitch. Fox is trying to play hard to get. She’s not into it. Sinister is still siting in the VIP area like it’s timeout. Get up and go get her! She’s supposedly been in the bathroom for 3 hours.

Wait, like all of the guys are there. I thought this was just a date for the winners. Guess not. I should have figured they wouldn’t be able to keep these guys from a BAR. Tool Box and Cable Guy aren’t paying attention to her and all, and you know what?  For how she’s ignoring Sinister she kind of deserves it. She didn’t even give him 2 seconds of the VIP time that he won.  He took paintballs for you!

Back at the house, Tool Box is completely wasted and running his mouth again, saying how he’s not feeling Daisy. Looks like he’s feeling the booze more anyway.

Oh okay, now it’s time for the winners’ dates, my mistake.  12 Pack, Chi Chi, Sinister, and London are having a “body painting date” in the back yard.  12 Pack is up first, he tells her he always gets cheated on, and he never cheats.  She buys it, they make out.  Sinister tries to be all “rockstar” about it and not mention that she gypped him at the club.  They make out.  Chi Chi’s up next, he’s jealous of his BFF Sinister’s make out, so he goes in all hot ‘n heavy and is not just making out with her, but trying to have sex with her.  London is last, THEY make out.  Mmm, sloppy fourths.  She’s kinda digging him for now, but I still think he’ll fuck up somehow.

Post-date, Cable Guy is trying to talk to her…from across the room.  Geeze, just go over and talk to her!  He doesn’t want to go out of his way to get know her, and he kind of tells her that.  They get a little alone time, so maybe she’ll keep him.  After that she goes and seeks out Tool Box.  She’s trying to talk, he’s trying to strip again.  She’s turned off.  Next she goes to kiss on Flex and they seem to be having a good time.  Fox interrupts, and she’s still bugged by his cockiness.  I think he might be in danger.  I don’t like him, I hate his stupid homeless guy hats and he looks like he’s trying to be Johnny Depp.

Flex gets the first chain.  She gives Fox a warning about being too cocky but gives him a chain anyway.  Uh oh, it’s down to Cable Guy and Tool Box, she better get rid of Tool Box, and if she doesn’t the guys will be gunning for him next.

Holy shit, she sends Cable Guy home first for not “stepping it up.”  What is she thinking?  Thank god Flex speaks up and calls Tool Box out for is drunken confessions.  She proves she still has half a brain cell left and eliminates him too.

All in all this was kind of a boring episode, although it’s hard to top Flipper’s self inflicted head wound (which shockingly did not result from flipping!).


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