Daisy of Love Recap #2

I decided I needed a drink in my hand this time around because the mass liquor consumption was making me a little thirsty.   Besides, booze goggles couldn’t hurt with this show, or Daisy’s face.  So I’ve got a tequila and oj (a tequila sunset as I call it) and we’re off–

Weasel’s talking about NOT being a drunken hot mess…and then taking shots a second later.  What time is it?  10 am?  I have a bad feeling about you Weasel.

Riki comes in and tells the guys it’s show and tell time with Daisy.  I really hope no one gets naked.

Flex decides to use a male blow up doll (complete with fake blowjob mouth) and is spray painting blood all over its neck.  “I’m covered up in blood cuz I’m dead sexy.” Oh god no.

Flipper writes a song dissing the rest of the guys.  The guys want to see.  “They wanted to see my rap so bad they were in my pants and everything.” I don’t know what’s worse, the homoerotic connotations of that statement or the fact that he wrote a rap.  His girlie hipster jeans save him and his rhymes.  10 bucks says he also has experience keastering evidence.

Miss Daisy is sitting on the desk in a sorta school girl outfit and some horrifying legwarmers.  Show and tell starts, Weasel shows off three pictures, two of him on a motorcycle and one of him in the hospital for a broken back.  Impressive?  Not so much.  Fox gets up and pulls out what I’m guessing is a dildo and stammers nonsensically again about presenting her with this “humorous novelty.” LOL!

Everyone gets a nap break with Professor’s “lesson plan of love.” London is too fucking hung over to write more than two lines of a song for her, (one of which he admits he lifted from her myspace, I’m starting to get the idea all of these guys have been stalking her on myspace for months) this guy is a dumbass.

Yes!  Here comes Flex and his bloody blow up doll to which he has also added a bloody red heart and some snake tattoos.  This aught to be good.  He says the doll is him.  Damn, I was hoping he would say something like, “This is what I’m going to do to these fuckers if any of them touches you.” and then rip it in half in a roid rage.  Disappointing.

12 Pack brings her a bouquet of dead roses, says they signify his past, and then throws them in the trash.  I can’t add anything more to that.  She’s officially underwhelmed.

Big Rig shows off a picture of his kid and that makes her nervous.  Cage shows off his title belt, it’s the size of a dinner plate, and Daisy says of the stupidest things I’ve heard her say so far–she doesn’t understand how it can hold up pants.

The rest of the guys show off their marginal poetry, saxophone, and stripping skillz but they’re too boring to go into so I’m just going to skip.  On to the main event, Flipper. He “burns” all the guys with his 3rd grade rhyme, and then flips of course.  He even calls one of them a dork!  I’ve seen the preview, he’s already got one foot in the deep end.

Chi Chi, Six Gauge and Weasel all get gold stars.  Fox, Flex and London get detention slips.  Punishment is giving lap-dances to some old ladies.  They all manage to light some granny fire.  London wins and gets to go along on the date with the gold stars.

After that travesty is over, the guys do some relaxing (aka binge drinking) outside.  The shit-talking inevitably comes around to Flipper and his whack rap, the guys have a bone to pick.  Which I don’t get because everything he said was so dumb how can they be offended?  Whatever, alcohol+douchebags=fight time.  He picks a fight with Cable Guy for no reason, then smashes a glass on his own forehead.  I just can’t stop laughing, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  He goes to unleash some more crazy on Daisy, is a total ass and she throws him out.  He leaves in a storm of fucks.  Haha, he left his shoes behind and the guys piss on them.

Brooklyn the dumbass calls his girlfriend.  She sounds psycho.  Of course she calls back!!  Caller ID is a bitch, no?  Hopefully this gets his ass kicked off.

The next day she takes her four dates surfing.  She goes into the Pacific ocean in string bikini, I bet she was able to cut glass afterwards.  Chi Chi is the only one paying attention to her, and Weasel is downin the drinks, then he says to her that his ex-wife used to support him.  Run Daisy, Run!

The guys rat out Brooklyn on the way home in the limo.  She pulls him aside immediately, he fesses up so I think she’s going to give him a pass.  I hate his accent, his cheesy ass needs to go back to the borough.  She also pulls Professor aside, and he almost bores her to tears.

At eliminations I kinda like Daisy’s hair for once.  Cage looks like he’s wearing a mink stole.  I love Riki’s snarky comments throughout eliminations.

Weasel and Professor go home.

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5 Responses to “Daisy of Love Recap #2”

  1. A.Jaye Says:

    Snap!

    With Flipper gone and the men folk booze bonding where’s the vh1?

    Chi Chi thinks he’s there for love. London thinks he’s going to get laid and 12p wants to extend his career. Kickstart a career.

    This could be the Jump The Shark season.

  2. Jen512 Says:

    I predict London will go home very soon. Does it bug you that this poser/loser’s nickname is bringing shame to your capital city?

  3. A.Jaye Says:

    The dynamic in these parts is North/South divide. Like yours. But inverted.

    I hate London.

  4. A.Jaye Says:

    Did you hear about the man who shovels elephant shpoo in the circus?

    He thinks he’s better than you because he’s in show business.

    That’s a Londoner.

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