Daisy of Love Premiere

Daisy shows off her favorite drink, finger, and controlled substance

Daisy shows off her favorite drink, finger, and controlled substance

Rock of Love II reject Daisy, has a her own spin-off on VH1–Daisy of Love.  With the typically low standards these shows have for casting this one is sure to please!

I’m going to watch it and recap as I go.

First look at the guys…uh yeah it’s not Tool Academy or Sober House but most look like they would belong there.  Haha, they’re using the Surreal Life house, trashy as they could get on the decorating, naturally.  They do the obligatory flashback to ROL2, and we all get a reminder of what a hot mess she was when she got eliminated.  Oh my gawd, at least she got the weave fixed this time around.  Back to the boys–looks like property damage will be the theme of the show.

So, out in front of the house the guys get all psyched out by Riki Rackman who comes out of the limo instead of Daisy.  I’m glad he’s here because he has no filter.  Haha, he immediately singles out 12 Pack’s slimy ass for looking for fame, and tells the rest of them he doesn’t want to hear about any of their “bands”.

Oh God, no.  No no no…Daisy decides to make her grand entrance by lip-syncing with a bunch of fishnet-wearing back-up dancers.  Oh this isn’t a ploy to promote her singing career, she’s here to find LOVE, uh huh.  Okay it’s mercifully short because I was about to switch this shit off.  Deep breaths Jen, deep breaths.  Lets just hope that’s the last time she has a mic strapped to her face.

These guys are getting drunk ASAP.  We get to know a little more about the guys, they hone in on the triplets from Sweden because how could you not notice three guys that look like Japanese school girls?  Ew they’re dipping raw hot dogs in salsa, fucking gross!

One of the drunk ones with the blue and red hair yells “Were the bitches at?”  Classy.

Daisy reappears to give them all nicknames.  Is it me or have the boobs been upgraded?  Maybe it’s the corset.

Loser #1 is up–he tells her his name back home is “Crazy Mike”, never a good sign…  Oh lord, without being prompted he strips down to his “man thong” and does a little booty dance for everyone.  He has a tattoo of lips on his ass.  Then he does a standing back-flip which gets Daisy squealing.  Nickname:  Flipper

Loser #2–Daisy digs his guyliner.  He “sings” for her which is literally just off-key screaming.  Nickname:  London

Losers #3, 4, & 5–The Swedish girls are up.  They talk in thick accents which vh1 translates at the bottom of the screen into pseudo-swede, hilarious.  She asks whats up with the brother thing and they call themselves a “Swedish smorgasbord”.  Riki’s right, that’s creepy!  Incest, anyone?  Nicknames:  ’84, ’85, & ’86. Because as Riki explains, “Because that’s the last time it was okay to look like that.”

Loser #6–Guy with tat sleeves and stringy dyed black hair.  Nickname:  Sinister

Loser # 7–Possibly the biggest loser here, but she thinks he’s got a Bret Micheals vibe which she thinks is hot.  Wow, now I’m getting a much clearer picture of why she’s single.  His name is Pauly so she thinks of Pauly Shore, so unluckily for him–nickname:  Weasel. Haha!

Loser # 8–Asian looking guy with long hair dyed from yellow to red.  Nickname:  Torch (at least he didn’t get “Flamer”)

Loser #9–Really fugly dude wearing a beanie from the ’90s and possibly a dab of eyeshadow.  He doesn’t have much going on for him, so–nickname:  Dropout.

Loser #10–High school teacher with a faux-hawk.  Nickname:  Professor

Loser #11–Faux-hawk guy number 2  is so into working out that he made a job out of it and is a gym manager.  Nickname:  Flex (ooh..we’re really stretching the creativity now, eh?)

Loser #12–High pitched voice guy gets the nickname Chi Chi, from Riki of course!  Chi Chi does score points with me for correctly pointing out that “chi chi” does mean tits in Spanish.  He’s not really thrilled with the name, poor guy.

Loser #13–The one that yelled “Where the bitches at” is up and tells us that he used to be an exotic dancer.  Don’t male exotic dancers usually dance in gay clubs?  He does the Beyonce booty bounce for her–another thing a straight guy should not be doing.  She likes him for some reason though.  Nickname:  Tool Box (tool is correct!)

Loser #14–Cheesy looking guy from Brooklyn.  Nickname:  Brooklyn

Loser #15–He’s got a six inch long braid hanging off his chin and says he’s a DJ but also does cable.  Nickname:  Cable Guy. He’s sad about it, and I don’t blame him.

Loser #16 (is this almost over?)–A bubba that drives an 18 wheeler.  Nickname:  Big Rig

Loser #17 (I guess not)–Has a penis piercing.  Um, ouch.  Nickname:  Six Gauge (’cause that’s what’s in his dick, nasty!)

Loser #18–Wears too many beads and probably does way too much yoga.  He’s already trying to flatter the pants off her.  Lame.  She’s alllll about it though.  Nickname:  Fox

[Side note:  I’m starting to wonder what all those colored bottles are under Riki’s table.  Arts and craft project up next?  Are they going to make air-brushed t-shirts with their new names on them?]

Loser #19–Is shy about his face tattoo, but then Riki immediately busts on him for being bashful while having “FIGHT OR DIE” tattooed in bold across his neck.  Lol.  He’s a cage fighter.  Nickname:  Cage

Loser #20–Ah, the biggest fame seeking loser of them all, 12 Pack (previously cast on I Love New York and I Love Money).  She rightly points out that he hooked up with Heather on I Love Money, the same Heather who tired to beat her to a pulp on Rock of Love’s reunion show.  Well that’s red flag #41.  Riki calls him gay, lol!  He admits he used to think New York was a tranny.  Which means tranny is his type, hmmm…Daisy is this telling you anything?  That’s red flag number #68.  They stick with, what else, 12 Pack.

Thank god that’s over.

She stresses about having to get rid of 5 tonight.  C’mon it can’t be that hard, they’re all lame ass hell.

They all party on the patio, and she gets to know them more.  Riki goes over and questions the triplets on whether or not there are just there for the free food.  OMG, did Dropout just say that they were cute and wouldn’t mind taking one of them home?!  Whoa, this is the third possibly gay guy they’ve presented so far, what is up with this show?  The Swedish fish fess up a bit to being there for the free food and drinks, and also the see “Vat iz up.”  They’re like stray puppies!

Fox and his giant head of hair gel pulls her aside and tries to get all smooth but ends up being nonsensical.  First make-out, and it’s nasty, but Daisy’s all googly about it.  I guess flattery will get you anywhere.

Finally, back outside Sinister rats out Tool Box for his ‘bitches’ comment earlier.  I knew someone would tell on his ass!  She’s all horrified, and says, “I’m a DAISY, not a bitch”.  Haha.  She sets him straight, he blames it on his confidence.  Torch weirds her out on the couch with his bizarre conversation skills (“Well you know throw a coke bottle at my head and RAWRRR”), and then Brooklyn cheeses it up some more.  She’s not sure who to reject first.

Flipper takes a back flip off the top of a 15 foot lighting scaffold into the pool to get noticed.  We’ll all hoping he’ll take a header into a rock but he lands safely this time.  She’s impressed but wished he would tone it down.  The rest of the guys continue making asses out of themselves in various ways.

Daisy decides to question the Swedes some more, and I’m a little disturbed by her question, “Is it true you guys all come together?”  “Jah, jah” they reply.  Gross.  I know she didn’t mean it that way, but gross.

12 Pack gets his moment with her and tries to explain how he’s done this before (haha) but this time he’s for real and he’s been wanting to get with her ever since he hit her up on MySpace.  Yeah, for real.  He’s a douche.  He also says that he’s not retarded like the other guys.  Guess that just makes him “special”.  She licks his nose.  She’s “special” too.

Drunk guys start dropping like flies, London is the first one down.  Best quote of the episode:  “Ugh, this is Daisy of Love, not I Love Liquor!”

She goes back outside for a surprise elimination.  She lets the Swedish triplets go.  They make off with a ton of food!

3 down, 2 more to go.  At eliminations, Dropout and Torch get the axe.

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2 Responses to “Daisy of Love Premiere”

  1. tvsnark Says:

    Appreciate all the work you took on this recap. There is not one guy in that entire bunch that I would say is “a cutie”.

    She annoys me so I don’t know if I’ll really watch this show. Of course, I said that about Ray J and I still ended up watching THAT.

    I hope they have plenty of penicillin in that house.

    • Jen512 Says:

      Thank you tvsnark, I’m so glad you stopped by! Fellow snarks always have a home here. I was shocked after I wrote this post how long it ended up being, I was almost embarrassed–I’ve written shorter essays on Shakespeare. She annoys me too, the way she talks with the overly-cutesy upward inflection…it’s a affectation just like Paris Hilton. I can usually suck my husband into watching stupid reality shows with me but he’s already sworn off this one…I don’t blame him!

      I think I’ll keep recapping, but hopefully the next ones won’t be so long winded.

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